*Mom hands me phone to answer*
Telemarketer: Hello, is your mother home?
Me: I have no mother.
Her: Well can I speak to your father?
Me: Yeah, which one?
Her: Which one is home?
Me: Well they're both home..but I don't think you want to talk to Carlos. He just went through a breakup with his boyfriend, Antonio.
Her: Oh, so your fathers' names are Carlos and Antonio?
Me: No, no! My fathers' names are Carlos and Mark.
Her: So who's Antonio?
Me: I just told you, Carlos's ex.
Her: So Carlos was cheating?
Me: Yes, but that's only because Mark was cheating with Edith, our neighbor.
Her: So Carlos cheated only because Mark cheated?
Me: No, he THOUGHT Mark was cheating.
Her: So Mark wasn't cheating?
Me: I never said that.
Her: Yes, yes you did!
Me: No I didn't.
Her: Y-yes! You did!
Me: Did what?
Her: Y-you- Never mind have a nice day, goodbye.
This is what Yahoo paid $1.3 Billion for.
semmetricall: castielofasgard: OH MY GOD THIS IS WHY I AM ALIVE THIS IS WHY I LOVE TUMBLR
oohtheyhavenibbles: bonesbuckleup: So today I learned that Eucalyptus leaves have this chemical in them and when koalas eat the leaves the chemical makes them drunk but since koalas only eat Eucalyptus leaves they basically go through their entire lives perpetually smashed.
slightlysalty: Did you know that high school students today have about the same anxiety levels as insane asylum mental patients during the 1950’s? No wonder bullying is such a big thing these days. Kids are so stressed out and fucked out because school. I blame teachers and parents and school in general. It’s lost what it actually is supposed to be